“Hello, this is Bathsheba. This isn’t Ronald, is it?”I hesitated for a moment wondering who the devil Ronald was. Then, I just pushed it out of my mind and answered in a perfectly reasonable tone of voice introducing myself according to the hints given to the members by the introduction services coordinator.“This is Harry here. I am a member of the XXX introduction services and you are on the top of my list as being the most compatible in matching traits and desires. Would you be interested in meeting me this Friday evening for an evening of getting properly acquainted in private?”For a moment, there was only silence at the other end of the connection, and I worried that I might have the wrong number but, then again, Bathsheba was such an uncommon name, I was certain I had reached the correct party.Thankfully, the line buzzed in my ear and I heard Bathsheba reply with a fair amount of enthusiasm.“Hello, Harry, very pleased to meet you, I am sure. I would be happy to meet you on that. I love the picture of the red sunset.”"Why thank you, kind sir."“Here, what are you doing with me, get off me.”"Stop being a baby. I am only picking you up and placing you on the bed."“Bed, why the bed?”“Because.”“Because what?”“As I said earlier, if you had been listening instead of whining about the other punctuations, I have a job only you can do for me.”“Why are you taking off your leggings?”“I need to so you can do the little task I have for you.”“Hmmm, so why is there a wet spot on your knickers?”“Shut up and wait there until I am ready.”“Do you know that you have no hair between your legs?”“Yes. What I want to know is how you know I have hair there normally.”“Well, you often write those silly stories, you know those that you start writing then never finish. They have references to girly bits and running your fingers through the hair down below.”“Cheeky, you should not be reading my stories, they are private.”"Well, I get bored waiting to be used. In fact, sometimes I fall.
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